Our Works of Charity / David Bethuram

Spending Christmas alone: How to make it more meaningful for you, others

Spending Christmas alone can happen for various reasons, such as losing a loved one, living far from family, or experiencing social isolation. For those with anxiety or without close relationships, loneliness during the holiday season can feel especially overwhelming.

However, there are ways to cope and make the day more meaningful. Here are three steps to consider:

—Address your mental state
Reflect on how your thoughts may be contributing to your loneliness.

—Engage in activities that help you feel connected
Seek out ways to stay active or involved on Christmas Day.

—Plan for the future
If you don’t want to be alone next year, start building connections or making plans now.

Accept that it’s OK to spend Christmas alone

It’s normal to feel like you’re missing out on the festivities, but remember, many people choose to spend Christmas differently. It’s an opportunity to embrace solitude and focus on yourself.

Practice gratitude

Use Christmas to appreciate what you have, whether it’s good health, a home or food on the table. Gratitude can reduce anxiety and help you stay present. A simple exercise is to write down three things you’re thankful for.

If negative thoughts still linger—perhaps due to grief or lack of social connections—ask yourself, “What would I do if I knew how to cope?” This small mental shift can help you realize your inner strength and control over your feelings.

Stay active and engaged

Rather than staying home, consider doing something productive that aligns with your mood:

—If you’re energetic, take a long walk to enjoy nature.

—If you feel social, attend a community event or a church service to be around others.

Volunteer and give back

Helping others can shift your focus from loneliness to purpose. Volunteering during the holidays can connect you with others and brighten your mood. Here are some ideas:

—Serve meals at a soup kitchen.

—Bring gifts to children in hospitals.

—Visit nursing home residents.

—Help a neighbor or friend in need, such as delivering groceries.

Remember to follow any necessary precautions if helping someone who is ill or vulnerable.

Connect virtually

If you have online friends or relatives far away, organize a virtual Christmas gathering. Set up a Zoom or Google Meet call where everyone can join from their own space. Plan ahead by exchanging gifts through the mail to open together online.

Treat yourself

If being alone is unavoidable, turn the day into one of self-care. Treat yourself to something special, cook your favorite meal or have a movie marathon. You could also use the time to start a new hobby, learn a language, or begin to journal, expressing your goals and how you want to achieve them.

Embrace what makes you happy

Whether it’s expressing gratitude, helping others, staying productive, socializing or enjoying your own company, Christmas can still be a fulfilling day. Focus on what brings you joy and peace, and make the holiday your own.
 

(David Bethuram is executive director of the archdiocesan Secretariat for Catholic Charities. You can contact him at dbethuram@archindy.org.) †